JustWrite

I have been watching the Last Comic Standing for a few weeks, since someone mentioned in an email that one comic Josh Blue has cerebral palsy. One joke from his last week’s set particularly hit my funny bone. He recalled an incidence in which a lady had come up to him, I guess after watching his unsteady cp in action, and says in a slow, condescending voice, “Hi buddy, how are you?” Josh responded, “I need to get laid!”, totally shocking this older woman. Ahh, nothing like blowing the myth “No sex, please. We’re disabled.”

It reminded me of the time, shortly after Darrell and I moved in together, that an occupational therapist (OT) was sent in to provide expert advice on our shower arrangement. The previous tenant had an attendant and had a roll-in shower installed. We simply put my shower bench against one wall, tied two large grey cement bricks to it to anchor it down because Darrell was worried it would tip over, and the maintenance guy installed a grab bar. Theoretically we would park our chair beside the bench, move our butts over, pull the curtain, and.…viola. Simple. As there were still boxes and parents everywhere, we had yet to put it to the test.

However, the Long-Term Care case manager felt that wasn’t safe and insisted that an OT come check it out. We were about to be married; we could make that decision for ourselves. Yet we weren’t capable enough to determine for ourselves if the shower was safe to use? I mean, I have bounced my head off cement floors enough times. I would definitely not put myself at risk needlessly.

Anyway, an OT came to inspect our shower. We all traipsed into the bathroom – felt like we should start charging admission! Her initial response to our arrangement was, “Don’t know why I’m here. Looks like you have solved your own problem.” Well, duh! Besides, I don’t recall having a problem! Her only suggestion was that suction-cup feet on the legs might hold the bench a bit firmer. She said she would get some. We are still waiting, eight years later! And people think we are slow!

Back in the living room, she flipped through a few catalogs to see what other options existed. “Here’s another option,“ she said as she passed the catalog over to us. Basically, it was a shelf that fastened to the wall – fine if you had a skinny butt. I took one look and, in my Glenda-ish, blurted out, “It won’t hold two people!“ Gasping in utter shock, she exclaimed, “Oh! I hadn’t thought of that! You make me blush!“ All flustered, this gray-haired lady gathered up her things, saying, “I see I’m not needed here.“ She quickly departed, never to be heard from again.

This red-head’s wicked sense of humour strike’s again! I love when I can totally blow people’s minds! That is when having cp can be fun, in devlish kind of way!

Tags: Last Comic Standing/, Josh Blue, Sex, cerebral palsy, humour